Tuesday, July 12, 2016

The Cosmic Monsters (aka The Strange World of Planet X) – Available on YouTube
75 Minutes
Distributors Corporation of America
Director: Gilbert Gunn
Writer: Paul Ryder

6’ 4” Forest Tucker (Sargent O’Rourke from F Troop) plays scientist Gil Graham with all the gravitas and swagger of John Wayne. Graham and Dr. Laird, played by Brit Alec Mango, are running experiments in a basement somewhere in the English countryside to create ultra-intense magnetic fields. Attractive French born Gaby Andres plays the lovely lab assistant and is the eye candy Forrest fawns over. Sadly their chemistry, to be perfectly scientific, is a little on the ph side. So, the British Government wants to know if the magnetic fields can be used as a weapon. Turns out they can! They cook and powderize aircraft alloy. Problem is this tesla coil, or whatever it is, cooks other things – like bums – at a distance. It also creates a major shit storm in the ionosphere allowing cosmic rays to bombard the Earth’s surface turning the burnt bum into a psycho killer and, more importantly, creating ginormous carnivorous bugs!

 Enter “Mr. Smith” played by Martin Benson the man crushed in the car in the movie Goldfinger.  He befriends a little girl in the woods is kind to her and she directs him to a local pub. Once there he explains to Forrest he is from another planet and that the magnetic rays brought down one of their crafts. Forrest doesn’t bat an eye as they discuss what’s next in a local pub.

Although coming too late in the movie the giant bug effects are above average and, I think, there is a gecko in there somewhere. As for the acting Forrest’s performance, though steady, is uninspired. If they’d ginned up the romance between Tucker and Andres, and brought on the bug battle about 15 minutes earlier, this would be much more memorable. Still you should check it out. Two and ½ Electrifying Merkins.

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