tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22998997023868497962024-03-12T17:52:21.330-07:00MERKIN’S WORLD B MOVIE REVIEWHere at Merkin’s World we look at the obscure, the cheap, the weird, the bizarre, the living, the dead, the drunk, the psychotic, the borderline and the down right shameful. We look at all movies; the artful and the artless, the flawed and the flawless, the small gems and the large turds. Welcome fellow travelers! Let your mind go as the warm waters of Merkin's World surround you. mccurdyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07068941913644481716noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2299899702386849796.post-58195408334533067682021-04-23T14:20:00.000-07:002021-04-23T14:20:07.601-07:00<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">She Should Have Said No (aka Wild
Weed)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">1949<br /><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">70 Minutes<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Director: Sam Newfield<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Writer: Richard Landau, Arthur Hoerl<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkPNOabPdS7zweaJT6V4ny-YV9OKSPwHd6S_Jo8vb-Qn11rqeu9V3trAycbe9Sd-tlhsIdPetMXDg1THqKsMFHdaPtwte-qe7sIIZ6aPBIDvImAyrWqVbdMAifJ5z2kyrErflkEosq3qUd/" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 238); margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img alt="" data-original-height="267" data-original-width="189" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkPNOabPdS7zweaJT6V4ny-YV9OKSPwHd6S_Jo8vb-Qn11rqeu9V3trAycbe9Sd-tlhsIdPetMXDg1THqKsMFHdaPtwte-qe7sIIZ6aPBIDvImAyrWqVbdMAifJ5z2kyrErflkEosq3qUd/" width="170" /></a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">Four things
about this film: It is introduced by the one and only Kroger Babb, it was Jack
Elam’s film debut, it co-stars Lyle Talbot and, has a fascinating back story
involving the female lead Lila Leeds and her unfortunate run in with the law, marijuana and Robert
Mitchum just a year prior to the films production.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;">SSHSN is
common to the morality movies that were churned out in the 30’s and 40’s by production
companies such as Roadshow Attrac</span>tions, Hallmark Productions and many more like them. Movies like Reefer Madness, The
Pace That Kills, and Marihuana Assassin of Youth were amazing frenetic
concoctions that used cautionary tales combined with wildly exaggerated melodrama
to lure both those in the know and those ignorant of drug culture into the
movie house. SSHSN focuses <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>on
marijuana’s hyperkinetic effects and association with violence, immorality and
insanity. You might say “what a terrible thing to do.” Maybe so, but it
was a money maker and could be done on the cheap with a guaranteed audience. The legendary Kroger Babb – producer, distributor, showman
- knew this better than anyone. Concerning this movie we have the following
from Wikipedia:</div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">With other films, Babb would try
different approaches. For She Shoulda Said No!, an anti-marijuana film of the
1950s, he highlighted the sexual scenes and arranged "one-time-only"
midnight showings, claiming that his company was working with the United States
Treasury Department to release the film "in as many towns and cities as
possible in the shortest possible length of time" as a public service. David F. Friedman, another successful exploitation filmmaker of the era, has</span></i><span style="line-height: 115%;"> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">attributed
the "one-time-only" distribution to a quality so low that Babb wanted
to cash in and move to his next stop as fast as possible. At each showing of
a film, a singing of "The Star Spangled Banner" was also
required.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">And of course this film has no sex scenes. However, that was not Mr. Babb’s primary
concern; ticket sales were. An excellent account of his amazing antics can be found in
exploitation filmmaker Dave Friedman’s autobiography A Youth in Babylon:
Confessions of a Trash-Film King. Read it you fool!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">It is also Jack
Elam’s film debut and co-stars the always steady Lyle Talbot. But the most
interesting story concerns Lila Leeds who plays the female lead and her history
with Robert Mitchum. Ms. Leeds and “Bob” were arrested just a year before this
movie was made when she, another couple and swaggering Bob were busted at a pot
party at the house she was renting in Laurel Canyon.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3jNiN7Dif2drH7gvLn7KLr428AXwfNoaJT3P1xKzWa-5eRsu3LQM_sOKlD29g8j2PvR-NHY9y4TuxJFKtIJ7WP6NTMeLaxZ0bvzn6coaoJPM59BOpkX5ybIhPA3lX3hMLhhJS9U9YDX5k/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="201" data-original-width="251" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3jNiN7Dif2drH7gvLn7KLr428AXwfNoaJT3P1xKzWa-5eRsu3LQM_sOKlD29g8j2PvR-NHY9y4TuxJFKtIJ7WP6NTMeLaxZ0bvzn6coaoJPM59BOpkX5ybIhPA3lX3hMLhhJS9U9YDX5k/" width="300" /></a></div><br /><br /><br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span face=""helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><i>She's The One With The Weed!</i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"> They both ended up doing
60 days in county. Mitchum – who often bragged <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>about walking around LA with a joint tucked
behi<span style="font-family: inherit;">nd his ear - claimed the whole thing was a set up. When he and Lyla arrived
at the LA police station immediately following their arrest there were
already a number of press agencies and photographers pr</span>esent. The LAPD had been
criticized in the press for their lax effort against the perceived drug problem
and Mitchum said they were just making an example of him to improve public
relations. Mitchum’s career suffered none. Sadly poor Lyla became hooked on
heroine while in jail and, as far as I can tell, had a rough time of it after getting out with a
couple of kids and two broken marriages. In her mid 60s she turned to our<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Lord Bejesus
Christ for comfort. She died at the age of 71. Shit, I knew jail was the best
place for pot smokers. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjErGNqg0t7YXOEBE_dp04vn3ndGL5v5r9Hw62Rx8Pfj_2YnlDQdM6E4cboh2KbNdEKi4XPtEqtHThu1_4aHUNC1THe4zOWSFJNHFBothlSabikuH6sGgLGEWH_AIymJqLMYyIIrpK0gcKa/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjErGNqg0t7YXOEBE_dp04vn3ndGL5v5r9Hw62Rx8Pfj_2YnlDQdM6E4cboh2KbNdEKi4XPtEqtHThu1_4aHUNC1THe4zOWSFJNHFBothlSabikuH6sGgLGEWH_AIymJqLMYyIIrpK0gcKa/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjp9NVjL8iHsKGGI18YyrT02WYcvy2sSpWWQij7LIC31-1Qll9B6nTLEqRvWAgKtgijKiWdhiKBPn7IXvs1Uk14FFXcFkztpiekUzFU0bMTltVm1GaBJqjPEhNV7Men_StITuYYRWX5S74/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="166" data-original-width="304" height="175" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjp9NVjL8iHsKGGI18YyrT02WYcvy2sSpWWQij7LIC31-1Qll9B6nTLEqRvWAgKtgijKiWdhiKBPn7IXvs1Uk14FFXcFkztpiekUzFU0bMTltVm1GaBJqjPEhNV7Men_StITuYYRWX5S74/" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 16pt;"><span face=""helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><i>Irony</i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">So, according
to the timeline, Lyla was probably addicted to or in recovery from heroin when
this thing was being shot. The movie was to capitalize on her and Bob’s arrest
and it surely did. As for the movie she and the supporting cast do a pretty
decent job. Lyla, who plays Anne Lester the obligatory young innocent, is
corrupted by one slick talking dealer “Markey” played by Alan Baxter with a
nasty nasal reminiscent of Jack Nicholson (who was about 12 years old at the
time.) Jack Elam, credited as Henchman Raymond, doesn’t have a lot to say but
plays it well and with both eyes pointing the same direction. Overall this
movie has very good production values, above average acting and, as mentioned, includes
the inimitable Lyle Talbot (Captain Hayes) with that wonderful somber, resonant
voice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What can I say? I love listening
to the man’s voice whatever he is talking about: high school punks,
transvestites, UFOs or pot-heads. There is also a scared straight segment where
Lyla is being leaned on for info that is done dead-on and has true dramatic
impact. So I say watch the movie, enjoy Lyle’s voice and the attractive Ms.
Leeds, and wonder just what that pot party was like long ago on a balmy LA
night in August of 1948. Four Tightly Rolled Merkins. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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mccurdyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07068941913644481716noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2299899702386849796.post-28634214384595537142016-07-24T16:52:00.005-07:002021-04-23T15:18:37.120-07:00<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br />Psycho Shark
(aka Jaws in Japan)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
2009<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
70 Minutes<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Director:
John Hijiri<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Writer:
Yasutoshi Murakaw</div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHYD_EMgo4kN82h792tPmjkEDoEz3Y1wJZRo-_eWUYBwGEQshStyfgHRnKC6xQCug-rc_YFB5fwjLLWbrHQ81j17a9wbCL9gOzpT5cZGWXT8FE8PTEdGBdrzHMDxFi_mbJgwDwRVAL24PA/s267/psycho+shark.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="267" data-original-width="189" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHYD_EMgo4kN82h792tPmjkEDoEz3Y1wJZRo-_eWUYBwGEQshStyfgHRnKC6xQCug-rc_YFB5fwjLLWbrHQ81j17a9wbCL9gOzpT5cZGWXT8FE8PTEdGBdrzHMDxFi_mbJgwDwRVAL24PA/s0/psycho+shark.jpg" /></a></div></div></div>
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After watching too many first rate Asian Extreme movies
(Miike, Gaira, Ikeda, etc) it’s nice to find Japanese cinema producing thin
noodled cable fare for US distribution. Oh, Amazon prime, that $99 has brought
me so much ramen in so little time. To be kind perhaps Psycho Shark is a
meditative piece on the predatory nature of man. The filmmakers had <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">something</i> in mind. People just don’t go
out and point a camera and say go...do they? <div><br /></div><div>Supposedly filmed in Okinawa, where
the water is oh so blue, there is a lot of splashing, not nude shower scenes, and some very nice
Japanese bikinis on display not to mention the ample flesh that fills them.</div><div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9ElKhOQDzUs-4FF1O6anmRXgcpuYv5iWQ0PgCwlTLxjEHzXrWfA20WYbP0qfSUt8H2-vXutxK07GW88vX3vXSI2D5QN_yqyjSTmXq_yOTrbuHomW47OQjXtVYf84y3cFD532RM67wGsJU/s301/psycho+shark+tits.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="167" data-original-width="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9ElKhOQDzUs-4FF1O6anmRXgcpuYv5iWQ0PgCwlTLxjEHzXrWfA20WYbP0qfSUt8H2-vXutxK07GW88vX3vXSI2D5QN_yqyjSTmXq_yOTrbuHomW47OQjXtVYf84y3cFD532RM67wGsJU/s0/psycho+shark+tits.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are dreams of sharks and there is a symbolic Shark that appears
at the end of the movie. There is murder but not much mayhem. I enjoyed this
movie. Man as shark. I will watch it again when properly medicated to ensure maximum
absorption. Two Ample Asian Merkins. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>mccurdyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07068941913644481716noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2299899702386849796.post-27711348696664924302016-07-24T15:44:00.002-07:002021-04-23T14:30:43.073-07:00<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Beasterday:
Here Comes Peter Cottonhell – Available on Amazon Prime<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
2014<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
87 Minutes<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Director:
The Snygg Brothers<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Writers: The
Snygg Brothers<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQS5psF8SsoLPjMkGtbatrxhWzmp-dwibzE5kInhS3_86z1RdBeNiyvKThki5TCZueJafXkmNfWRQ-Fjaadt7RVu21R6xd7LTuYwGak5acLUFqQpuA5jBi4MUHCwbGa5sLz0vADfXiUkx-/s268/Beasterday.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="268" data-original-width="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQS5psF8SsoLPjMkGtbatrxhWzmp-dwibzE5kInhS3_86z1RdBeNiyvKThki5TCZueJafXkmNfWRQ-Fjaadt7RVu21R6xd7LTuYwGak5acLUFqQpuA5jBi4MUHCwbGa5sLz0vADfXiUkx-/s0/Beasterday.jpg" /></a></div><br /><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">I have great affection for B movies not shot in southern
California or New York City. Regional they’re called and the smaller the town the more interested I am in watching. So it goes with
Beasterday from Allentown Pennsylvania. The directors, Spencer and Zachary
Snygg, were close enough to Baltimore to get a strong whiff of John Water’s fetishistic whimsy
when they were growing up. And fetishistic whimsy, when deployed well, is a wonderful ingredient in Z grade genre films. These films are often intolerable to normal
people owing to a certain lack of pacing and sub-par acting. Fair enough. But
here’s the thing, if you have obsessed characters that hoot and howl with a
fetishistic twist you have a hook to win over genre obsessed movie fans
like myself. There is no exposition in this flick, just a giant horribly
animated stop-motion bunny – Peter Cottenhell - that starts ravaging the
residents of Allentown on Easter.<br />
The Roger Corman nudity rule is in play: If
you show women’s breasts do it early and often and then get on with the story.
Our protagonists are a guy and gal who work for “Dog Catchers in the Rye”
animal control company (they have adorable uniforms; would love to own one -
have to track down the Snygg Brothers.) The young lady wants to move back in
with her dad and step-mom after failing as a dancer to become a poet. Her
father is having none of it and insists she get a real job. The young man is
obsessed with being the world’s best dog catcher and really enjoys shoving
objects – stuffed bunnies, socks, pencils – down his pants. The young ladies
father is on a restrictive diet and has a really interesting pork fetish
complete with baby clothes and bacon on a string. Neither the young man nor the
father are the least bit embarrassed about their behavior which is what makes
this so fun. I won’t give away the ending but it involves a lobotomy and a man
dressed as a giant carrot. Hey Snygg brothers.....keep making movies! The movie stars Peter Sullivan, Marisol Custodio, John Fedele, Jon Arthur, and Bill
Joachim and features cameos by scream queens Darian Caime, AJ Khan, Kerri
Taylor, Jackie Stevens, Autumn Bodell, and Violetta Storms. Three Carrot Orange
Merkins. <o:p></o:p></div>
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mccurdyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07068941913644481716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2299899702386849796.post-30105548396249313822016-07-16T13:28:00.045-07:002021-04-23T15:36:51.950-07:00
The Man Without a Body - Available on YouTube
1957 <div>Filmplays Limited </div><div>Director: Billy Wilder</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEharPGOvZhDE6WwUlg9UER89_ASl6eKzdlfC7nQuH48sE3NnU9J_5ke3VJ4mRQPRyp_aCoRzvoCzXdJOWlu-AaMF9y4jFnvXxy02_SQUlK6x55qqUeV2M_s1trRGc07kv_zaSpSz4ibxF9n/s275/The+man+wthout+a+body.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="275" data-original-width="183" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEharPGOvZhDE6WwUlg9UER89_ASl6eKzdlfC7nQuH48sE3NnU9J_5ke3VJ4mRQPRyp_aCoRzvoCzXdJOWlu-AaMF9y4jFnvXxy02_SQUlK6x55qqUeV2M_s1trRGc07kv_zaSpSz4ibxF9n/s0/The+man+wthout+a+body.jpg" /></a></div><div>Distributed by Budd Rogers Releasing Corporation<o:p></o:p>
Filmed in the UK on a budget of 20,000 pounds and directed
by W. Lee Wilder younger brother of Billy Wilder whom lovingly referred to
“Willie” as “a dull son of a bitch.” The
plot concerns a wealthy SOB with a brain tumor played by George Coulouris
(Citizen Kane, Papillon) who convinces a monkey-head-transplant doctor played
by Robert Hutton (The Green Slime) to attempt a human head transplant. Somewhat
interesting is the donor head is that of Nostradamus. Don’t ask it doesn’t
matter! </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM_JbqXEbDvvPxah06nCBOqk1UAv3v4hoCXorYSbESj7JE09K85woTfXLeOp8gQVg8kprBMqWnQNwQVX-YXHaKO0PEumts5m0EXx5f5fmGowEAv3Hb2qOvdzRtgYTM7dJtpWhkQNZ-fjs-/s247/I+predict.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="175" data-original-width="247" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM_JbqXEbDvvPxah06nCBOqk1UAv3v4hoCXorYSbESj7JE09K85woTfXLeOp8gQVg8kprBMqWnQNwQVX-YXHaKO0PEumts5m0EXx5f5fmGowEAv3Hb2qOvdzRtgYTM7dJtpWhkQNZ-fjs-/s0/I+predict.jpg" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"> <span> <span> <span> <span> <span> <span> <span> <span> <span> <span> <span> <span> <span> <span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>I Predict This Movie Will Suck </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div> The twist comes when the SOB
finds out his gold digging girlfriend is screwing the lab assistant. He shoots
the lab assistant and Nostradamus’s head ends up on the first man dying - simple
head triage. The final scene of the lab assistant walking around London with a
fake Nostradamus head in a giant white box on his shoulders being pursued by a
panicked SOB with a brain tumor is worth a few minutes. Also, Robert Hutton can
really smoke a cigarette. Check it out. Two ½ foretold Merkins. <o:p></o:p></div>
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mccurdyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07068941913644481716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2299899702386849796.post-50412412764390206712016-07-15T20:52:00.005-07:002021-04-23T14:45:55.466-07:00<div class="MsoNormal">
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It Follows
(2014)<o:p></o:p></div>
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100 Minutes<o:p></o:p></div>
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Director:
David Mitchell<o:p></o:p></div>
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Writer:
David Mitchell<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsn4eqWcTu0Ja_4y8dqatj0O8SGOAg1XJxxtQFUwwh7srx2oYIZFalS_eIGd5y6LMOK0iFK1ehbXimOrwwPngHKZoP_xf8O-8BG2AFOyt-OSsGWy4GptaScd_yMRzt43md0EBpU0yev9Ay/s273/It+Follows.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="273" data-original-width="184" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsn4eqWcTu0Ja_4y8dqatj0O8SGOAg1XJxxtQFUwwh7srx2oYIZFalS_eIGd5y6LMOK0iFK1ehbXimOrwwPngHKZoP_xf8O-8BG2AFOyt-OSsGWy4GptaScd_yMRzt43md0EBpU0yev9Ay/s0/It+Follows.jpg" /></a></div><br /></div>
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David Lynch, David Cronenberg and David Robert Mitchell.
Well, not quite. While It Follows at times envelops you in the wet and rotting
Detroit environs, and while there are a few uncomfortable scenes that may make
you squirm, it is at heart a teen slasher.The original element being the sex act, instead of luring the monster as in all those 80s franchises,is now a chore that must be
accomplished to divert it. The origin of the monster-zombie apparition thing is
never really explained other than to say some young guy got it from a one night
stand with a gal who made a hasty departure. Once cursed (fucked) you must
spend your life pursued by this implacable apparition, that is, until you have
sex and pass the curse on to the next victim. Although, having done so like
herpes, the curse hangs around and may flare up during times of stress.
The apparition can only be seen by the fucked one and the fucked one’s
predecessors; you know, the kids who
brought herpes to your high school in the first place. The apparition can only
walk; no skipping and no heel-to-toe shit. It can take any human form – a
mother and father make an appearance - and appear at any time like when you are
staring off into space, trying to sleep or just trying to get away from that
thing that keeps appearing and walking at you. Like a dream you say? More like an
angry friend who thinks you were the one who ran over their cat. And get away
the teens do by foot, by bike and by car. So what is all this shit? Is it a
metaphor for Detroit’s fall from great city to ghost town? Maybe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it a reflection of the general economic
decline of the middle class which is, after all, being fucked as the super rich
laugh?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Could be. Is it the Devil? Had
the teens arranged a hasty Baptist wedding before fucking would the apparition
have grown wings and flown away? Don’t know. The hero/final girl wanna be Jay
(wonderfully played by 21 year old Maika Monroe) has several scenes of being
immersed in water.<br />
<br />
<br /><br /><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span face=""helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><i><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgilf5tI8MDp2SQh_SZ8mMg1CrloTew_0JqsyAk5zQdzGBZEblz5kdvvt_6sJySn4V6rcetTXsbBndMSQp_tfP7UOJ3rgTyWMd3RzVuZZgYjJXHBR7zi8Z5HiPbwFCpDslzvIEd0OYng1hC/s299/Wash+my+sins+away.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="168" data-original-width="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgilf5tI8MDp2SQh_SZ8mMg1CrloTew_0JqsyAk5zQdzGBZEblz5kdvvt_6sJySn4V6rcetTXsbBndMSQp_tfP7UOJ3rgTyWMd3RzVuZZgYjJXHBR7zi8Z5HiPbwFCpDslzvIEd0OYng1hC/s0/Wash+my+sins+away.jpg" /></a></div>Wash My Sins Away</i></span></div>
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<br />
Does this represent her desire to return to a state of
innocence? It is made clear early on that she is not a virgin. And after the initial
deception of receiving the curse from the “young guy” in an abandoned parking
lot she has sex with every guy in the movie out of scared shitless
self-preservation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is no time for
contemplating innocence; only for keeping your head above water. I’m thinking
they should have had a dog. Dogs can sense things and have very sharp teeth.
And with a dog alongside they would have resembled a pot-smoking version of
that 1970s animated series concerned with ghosts, snacks and such. Aside
from the narrative aspect, with all its fucking and running, the movie has some
nice touches for us older folks. The production design consists of old homes,
old American cars built in Detroit, and old schlocky sci/fi horror films viewed
on old not so flat-screen TVs. Thank you Killers from Outer Space, Godzilla and The
Vulture. Oh, and then the movie ends. Three wet and soggy Merkins. Check it
out.<o:p></o:p>
<br />mccurdyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07068941913644481716noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2299899702386849796.post-25493232747866930532016-07-13T21:23:00.000-07:002018-09-07T19:02:34.716-07:00<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Santa Claus (1959)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
94 Minutes<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Director: Rene’ Cardona<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Writers: Adolfo Torres Portillo, Rene’ Cordona<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gGTK58JAZoM/V4cXJrrPssI/AAAAAAAAABE/qqSGuCw7gTgNqlErifGClfEUtB3oJffDgCK4B/s1600/images-3.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gGTK58JAZoM/V4cXJrrPssI/AAAAAAAAABE/qqSGuCw7gTgNqlErifGClfEUtB3oJffDgCK4B/s400/images-3.jpeg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Before Cuban born <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rene’
Cardona hit his low budget directorial stride in the 1960’s with messy horror
exploitation shockers such as Dr. Doom, Night of the Bloody Apes and Mexican
wrestling absurdities like Santo and the Vengeance of the Mummy and Santo Contra
Los Cazadores de Cabezas ( “Head Hunters”) he directed this tender, warm
hearted, and absolutely bizzaro Santa Claus film which relies heavily on
Christian lore and literally elevates Santa to the celestial heavens above the
North Pole in a floating crystal palace lined with silver and gold. From this
vantage point he can keep his eye and ear focused on all the children of the
planet. He is assisted by an absent minded wizard Merlin and a cheerful group
of small children from all over the world. The opening scene introduces the
children in what looks like a hastily thrown together Worlds Fair exhibit
hosted at Disneyland. “Here are gathered the boys and girls of different races
and creeds,” explains the omnipresent narrator, “They have come from many lands
to help Santa bring joy and happiness to all of the Earth’s children.” They all
sing and play music from their native lands and do so rather poorly. But what really
catches the eye in Santa’s “Toyland” is the observation tower where a giant pair
of lips reports, a creepy master eye surreptitiously observes, and a very big
disembodied human ear listens. A machine the “Dream Watcher” is also employed
to see into a child’s dreams.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pee Wee would have a blast in this
place!<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qPqC6VqDwbc/V4cXvHq9Q8I/AAAAAAAAABU/ZF4Ser6xn1ILknXeZwmoHJnDnGYWaeAqQCK4B/s1600/images-2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qPqC6VqDwbc/V4cXvHq9Q8I/AAAAAAAAABU/ZF4Ser6xn1ILknXeZwmoHJnDnGYWaeAqQCK4B/s400/images-2.jpeg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>The Master Eye</i></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The Conflict</b>: In
Hell, Lucifer assigns his minion Pitch with sabotaging Santa’s mission lest he
be forced to eat chocolate ice cream instead of his required diet of hot coals.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A long dance routine of Lucifer’s
minions – reminiscent of the Right of Spring dance in the Big Lebowski -<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>punctuates
how serious he is about ruining Christmas. For Santa’s part, we know who he
answers to and it’s not the FISA court and it’s not Dick Cheney but a higher power.
One of the first things we see Santa do in his palace is fuss with his
miniature nativity scene to get the baby Jesus positioned just right before his
trip to earth. But Santa is also burdened with a punishment: If he doesn’t get
his shit done by dawn his four hardworking Mexican reindeer will turn to dust!!
Why only four? The others are in an ICE detention facility if you know what I
mean. Santa f-ing Christ I love the tension in this story. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Z_uXrGWQXaw/V4cXUpCXIeI/AAAAAAAAABM/HMo-n9cFRpQVsjFDCxrjFpQImuT5cSxPgCK4B/s1600/images-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Z_uXrGWQXaw/V4cXUpCXIeI/AAAAAAAAABM/HMo-n9cFRpQVsjFDCxrjFpQImuT5cSxPgCK4B/s400/images-1.jpeg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Pitch Blows</i></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The Principle Players</b>:
Still in his crystal palace, Santa uses the Dream Machine to enter the mind of
a rich Mexican child who wants nothing more than to be loved by his
self-absorbed parents. He dreams of waking on Christmas morning and rushing
downstairs to find two giant boxes next to the Christmas tree. Guess what’s
inside? Is it Mr. and Mrs. Pee Wee Herman? No, you
guessed it:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His parents covered in
blood. No, of course not, his parents covered in love and smiles. Santa then focuses the Dream
Machine on a poor Mexican girl named Lupita. She wants nothing more than a doll.
She is in the midst of her own Devil dream brought on by Pitch who blows on her
– yes that’s what he does in this movie he blows on things to fan the flames so
to speak - to induce a dream filled with creepy life size rag dolls emerging
from 11 boxes into a room of fog to dance<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>around poor little Lupita begging her to steal what she so covets. But
Lupita resists because she is poor and good hearted and too ignorant to
understand the advantages of white collar crime. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finally, there are three bad boys whom Pitch
nudges to throw rocks through a department store window to get what they want.
Easily influenced by the Devil they don’t deserve shit and Santa doesn’t bother
to look into their minds at all but levels a stern warning from his crystal
palace. This scares the boys and they skidaddle but their naughty impulses are
nigh abated. Oh well F them. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a
result, Pitch easily corrupts the boys as the story continues and later, when
on earth, Santa will give them nothing but coal. Sooooooo Santa eventually gets
his ass into the sleigh and sets off from his crystal palace larded with
presents and a bag of tricks to distribute judgement. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Santa’s Got a Brand
New Bag</b>: Santa’s bag of tricks consist of a magic electrified key that will
unlock any door on the planet, a beautiful flower with which to appear and disappear
and “The Powders for Dreaming”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>that enable post hypnotic suggestions for
those he decides need it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the interest of time, money, and your own
sanity the story sticks to the five kids introduced in Act 1. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Santa Gives Hope to
Some</b>: Santa drops by each of the kids houses and makes a special visit to
the rich kids’ parents at a hoity toity restaurant. He wards off pitch at each
turn except with the 3 bad kids. Granted the bad kids’ parents are never present
but should they be punished for shitty parenting? Santa does however give extra
attention to the rich kid. While his parents are out on the town Santa visits
the somber child at his home with his heart aching for his parents to come home
and be with him on Christmas Eve. He induces a dream state in the child and
reminds him that his parents truly love him and will see the error of their
ways. He then shows up as the waiter at the posh dinner the parents are
attending and, as with the movie Ben Hur, we never see Jesus’ err Santa’s
face, but we do see his arm extending a “Cocktail of Remembering” to the rich
and forgetful SOBs. They partake and remember they miss something, their beloved child and rush home post haste to be with him. Santa then makes it to Lupita’s house
where her parents look really depressed about their abject poverty on Christmas
Eve. What can they do? The mother clutches her cross and prays for a miracle. Her prayers are answered as Santa leaves a doll on the door step. No time
for dreams, lectures or cocktails just a doll that mysteriously appears at the
nadir of their holiday misery. Not actually seeing Santa, the mother then thanks
Jesus for the doll and at least one night of drunken recriminations is
postponed. Two snowy white Merkins. Check it out over the holidays. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THE END<o:p></o:p></div>
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mccurdyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07068941913644481716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2299899702386849796.post-49129136709685150512016-07-13T20:33:00.001-07:002018-08-30T19:15:06.284-07:00<div class="MsoNormal">
Teenagers From Outer Space (1957)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Writer,
Director, Producer, DP:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tom Graeff<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Special
Effects: Paul Blaisdell (uncredited) Tom Graeff<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Filming
locations: Hollywood, USA<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Alien teenagers – who apparently age faster on their planet
– land in Hollywood to determine if Earth is suitable grazing land for their
food stock. Turns out, after some initial confusion concerning nitrogen, the “gargons”
will grow a thousand (or a million it’s not quite clear) times larger than
their original size and do so really fast depending upon how much they eat
(isn’t that always the case!) And these are not your average milk brained
ungulates. They are, wait for it………Maine lobsters! You are familiar with
the theory of panspermia and the existence of extremophiles aren’t you? There
could be lobster everywhere in our puny universe. After all they are uniquely
built for extreme and diverse environments. Give them wings and they are
triphibians - man-eating, voracious, triphibian lobsters the size of houses sweeping the planet like a plague of
locust. But enough of that. There is a fly in the drawn butter. One of the
teenagers Derek (David Love) is pissed off.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9VGCYDoXrZc/V8UNGLpkpoI/AAAAAAAAAGk/r65u6Au_9Q8ypFCAr-m9TBULC7vlD_1PACLcB/s1600/images-15.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9VGCYDoXrZc/V8UNGLpkpoI/AAAAAAAAAGk/r65u6Au_9Q8ypFCAr-m9TBULC7vlD_1PACLcB/s1600/images-15.jpeg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>I hate my Father!</i></div>
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span>
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He informs us he didn’t know his parents (an
important plot point) and was raised in a cubicle! I mean holy shit we can all
identify with that. He describes their way of life as dehumanizing; an
engineered existence of eugenics and selective breading.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Derek is pissed because, perhaps on the long
trip during bathroom breaks, he read a book that tells of the way it was before a nasty autocratic dictatorship took hold. It tells of a better time before
they went from planet to planet depopulating the inhabitants with their
miraculously sweet tender enormous gargons. It’s a book about freedom and
happiness the size of a little red book, or a pocket bible, or a tiny diary with
ideas for shell fish and wine pairings randomly scribbled down. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also inflaming Derek is shipmate Thor (Bryan
Grant one of the movies investors), who is a raging psychopath with deplorable interpersonal
skills who supports the whole kill the weak feed the strong thing. He uses a
“focusing disintegrator ray” to kill the first living thing he sees, a pet dog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Distraught </span>Derek attempts a
mini-mutiny against the crew but screws up and must scamper away like the
liberal idealistic rat he is almost being turned into a skeleton in the process. Thus the scene is set for
David to get to know and save the human race. He is taken in as a border by a sweet young lady Betty Morgan (Dawn Bender) and her
Gramps (Harvey Dunn who was in Ed Wood’s Night of the Ghouls two years later -
Go Gramps!) In his pursuit of David, Thor kills 6 people in one afternoon as we see a
skeletons drop like WW II French soldiers. In the meantime the one gargon, part
of their initial test stock I guess, has become very big and is killing cops
and such. At one point on a hill on the outskirts of town it rears up on its
tail and screams bloody gargon murder. Luckily Derek knows just how to tap in to the local electric power substation with his ray gun while Betty calls the
electric company to implore them to ramp up the power and zap! One fried gorgan. BUT WHERE IS THE
BUTTER!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Derek falls for Betty and they
kiss. But it is a bitter sweet kiss AND THERE IS NO BUTTER.<br />
<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cXZUqLPBd_g/V4cNZJ-jSSI/AAAAAAAAAA0/z8dHdL_YL3QJ8AllY_LyjAfe21VvBPCHgCK4B/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cXZUqLPBd_g/V4cNZJ-jSSI/AAAAAAAAAA0/z8dHdL_YL3QJ8AllY_LyjAfe21VvBPCHgCK4B/s400/images.jpeg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Sacrificial Image from an Outsider Film</i></span></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are several car chases – with some cool looking cars –
and Derek eventually surrenders to Thor
repenting of his liberal freedom-loving ways. Then the reveal that Derek is the
supreme ruler’s son. The supreme ruler, having been advised of the gargon favorable
environment, is leading an invasion force – something like a large
alien lobster version of a cattle drive I guess – and asks that his son Derek guide them
in. But, perhaps swayed by his love for Betty and the other wonderful humans, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Derek sends them
straight into the ground Blue Angels Style sacrificing himself in the process. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This movie, with all its low budget silliness, has a very
down beat feel. There are no hot rods, malt shops, DJs or sock hops and these
things would have cost money that wasn’t around. Still the sad back story of
Derek who, only a short time after finding out who his father is, sends an
entire fleet of<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>spaceships to their doom in a final suicidal blaze is a bit bleak to say the least. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The DIY director Tom Graeff (who also plays news
reporter Joe in the movie) had enrolled in the UCLA Theatre Arts program as a
teen. He made a 16 minute humorous recruiting film for Orange Coast College in
Costa Mesa CA that was narrated by Vincent Price. He made a few other short
films and worked as Roger Corman’s assistant on the set of Not Of This Earth.
He then secured the money – in part from Bryan Grant who played Thor and his
good looking wife Ursula who played the university secretary – to film TFOS working
the same year that I Was and Teenage Frankenstein and I Was a Teenage Werewolf
were released. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of course the movie with its down beat feel and bottom
basement effects didn’t make much more than the original investment. Two years
later Graeff took out a full page ad in the LA Times proclaiming he was to
be called Jesus Christ II (everyone deserves a sequel especially a director.) The next year Graeff filed to legally change his name to Jesus Christ II. This
was opposed by the always vigilant and senseless Christian Defense League and
he was denied. He then, apparently, left for the east coast returning to
Hollywood in 1964 to work as an editor on the low budget film The Wizard of
Mars. After trying to pedal the script for the unbelievable sum of $500,000
insinuating that Robert Wise and Carl Reiner, amongst others, were involved in
the project he was outed by LA Times columnist Joyce Haber as JC II. This put
an end to his Hollywood career. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jobless and with no prospects he moved to La Mesa CA not
more than two miles from my residence and committed suicide with carbon
monoxide in his garage. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
According to Wikipedia in a 1993 interview with Scarlett
Letter magazine, Bryan Grant and wife Ursula stated that Graeff and co-star
David Love were romantically involved. Shortly after the article many
like-minded fans began to refer to him as the gay Ed Wood (no reference for
this claim.) There is one line in the movie that struck me as Ed Woodish spoken
by Derek to Betty: “You are not familiar with the focusing disintegrator ray?
It projects an isolated beam which separates the molecules of living material
in chain reaction…all but the solids, the skeletal braces.” That aside one can
certainly read into the movie a definite outsider’s point of view. Disowned by
parents, love unconsummated, harassed and condemned by colleagues. The IMBD message
board says a biography is in the works. Let’s hope so. Three butter soaked
Merkins. Check it out.<o:p></o:p></div>
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mccurdyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07068941913644481716noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2299899702386849796.post-62177000176282419162016-07-12T22:38:00.001-07:002018-09-08T15:06:03.143-07:00<div class="MsoNormal">
The Cosmic Monsters (aka The Strange World of Planet X) –
Available on YouTube<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1958<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
75 Minutes<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bg0AoPoLMt4/V4cdr0nY7AI/AAAAAAAAAB0/vDXG6KYXS00e2313eXn4ZpZxzn4Pq7r7gCK4B/s1600/images-6.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bg0AoPoLMt4/V4cdr0nY7AI/AAAAAAAAAB0/vDXG6KYXS00e2313eXn4ZpZxzn4Pq7r7gCK4B/s400/images-6.jpeg" /></a>Distributors Corporation of America<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Director: Gilbert Gunn<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Writer: Paul Ryder<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
6’ 4” Forest Tucker (Sargent O’Rourke from F Troop) plays
scientist Gil Graham with all the gravitas and swagger of John Wayne. Graham
and Dr. Laird, played by Brit Alec Mango, are running experiments in a basement
somewhere in the English countryside to create ultra-intense magnetic fields.
Attractive French born Gaby Andres plays the lovely lab assistant and is the
eye candy Forrest fawns over. Sadly their chemistry, to be perfectly
scientific, is a little on the ph side. So, the British Government wants to know if
the magnetic fields can be used as a weapon. Turns out they can! They cook and
powderize aircraft alloy. Problem is this tesla coil, or whatever it is, cooks
other things – like bums – at a distance. It also creates a major shit storm in
the ionosphere allowing cosmic rays to bombard the Earth’s surface turning the
burnt bum into a psycho killer and, more importantly, creating ginormous
carnivorous bugs!<br />
<br />
Enter “Mr. Smith” played
by Martin Benson the man crushed in the car in the movie Goldfinger. He befriends a little girl in the woods is kind to her and she directs him to a local pub. Once there he explains to Forrest he is
from another planet and that the magnetic rays brought down one of their
crafts. Forrest doesn’t bat an eye as they discuss what’s next in a local pub.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/XN5Kl4FjDDo/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/XN5Kl4FjDDo?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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Although coming too late in the movie the giant bug effects
are above average and, I think, there is a gecko in there somewhere. As for the acting Forrest’s performance, though steady, is uninspired. If they’d ginned
up the romance between Tucker and Andres, and brought on the bug battle about
15 minutes earlier, this would be much more memorable. Still you should check
it out. Two and ½ Electrifying Merkins. <o:p></o:p></div>
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mccurdyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07068941913644481716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2299899702386849796.post-33663099913332480432016-07-12T15:12:00.003-07:002022-07-19T18:04:26.746-07:00The Cape Canaveral Monsters<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DMhOJtkUcqM/V4czYBO9zeI/AAAAAAAAACE/haNZAfvvCYg1wJ7oQm2VvGBKfVPqS67PQCK4B/s1600/images-8.jpeg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DMhOJtkUcqM/V4czYBO9zeI/AAAAAAAAACE/haNZAfvvCYg1wJ7oQm2VvGBKfVPqS67PQCK4B/s400/images-8.jpeg" /></a>The Cape Canaveral Monsters – Available on YouTube<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1960<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
69 Minutes - What a Bargain!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
CCM Productions<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Director: Phil Tucker<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Writer: Phil Tucker<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Another lovable oddity from the mind of Phil Tucker who
brought us the existential machinations of Robot Monster.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Described as one of the reds-under-the-beds cycle of films,</span> we have a couple driving home from the beach
being followed by squabbling aliens in the form of two balls of light. They are
killed in a car accident, the man losing his arm, and their dead bodies are
inhabited by the extraterrestrial interlopers. A familiar trope, the aliens aim
to halt our space program and clear the way for an invasion force. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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There is certainly creativity and innovation at work here no matter what you think of the production
values. As cheaply as the car accident was pulled off the arm hanging out the
rear window is still creepy. This movie was intended for theatrical
release but never made it and was sold to TV in the early 60s. I was maybe ten
when I first saw it and was mesmerized. I knew there was a space program and I
knew they were blasting rockets from Cape Canaveral (Cape Kennedy from 1963 –
1973.) So I was very excited about the reference to Cape Canaveral, the stock
footage of failed rockets, and the inclusion of evil aliens with ray guns. What
I distinctly remember was the use of pig latin to vex the aliens (at the age of
ten who could forget that.) Radium from a wrist watch and litmus paper are also
put to good use. It was and is hilarious. What I didn’t catch was the sexual innuendo
and endless quarreling between the alien couple Hauron and Nadja played by
Jason Johnson (Invasion of the Saucer Men) and Katherine Victor (Mesa of Lost
Women, Zombies.) He has a body with one arm and misses his laboratory back on
wherever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She says she never wanted him
as a partner and chides him for never really feeling comfortable in the body of an earthling. When she harps on his armlessness being a handicap, he basically
tells her to f-off. Meanwhile their leader tells them – via an intra-galactic, rotating potato-chip-radio – that they must “prevent the humans from discovering
space flight for a few more months” to “clear the way for an invasion force.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He then goes on to say they need more human
bodies for experimentation, particularly female bodies, as the ones transported
during the first mission all arrived dead. So WTF are they doing with those
female bodies? (Although one of the first widely reported alien abduction cases wasn’t
until 1961 involving Betty and Barney Hill, many were reported prior to that
(See Killers from Space for the earliest movie reference.)<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-E8VS9wF8JHI/V4czu6j9DKI/AAAAAAAAACM/hvH5V2LMtm0T5jmHK9b4n6giJWf3xoElgCK4B/s1600/images-9.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-E8VS9wF8JHI/V4czu6j9DKI/AAAAAAAAACM/hvH5V2LMtm0T5jmHK9b4n6giJWf3xoElgCK4B/s400/images-9.jpeg" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="font-family: "\"helvetica neue\"", "\"arial\"", "\"helvetica\"", sans-serif; text-align: start;">The Epitome of Practical Effects</i></div>
</div>
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<br />
<br />
Nadja and Hauron’s shitty relationship is set against the
all American wholesomeness of space engineer Tom Wright played by Scott Peters (Panic
in the Year Zero, The Saved Hitler’s Brain) and number one girl AND fellow
scientist Sally Markham played by Linda Connell (daughter of the
cinematographer starring in her only role.) Their love and devotion is taller
than a Saturn 5 rocket and best enjoyed while double dating with best friends
Bob and Shirley; but back to the female specimens. There is a scene that involves the kidnapping, sedating,
electroshocking and freezing of Shirley that is also creepy and suggestive. What
stands out is a shot where Nadja unhooks a sedated Shirley’s bra while Hauron
leers at Shirley’s nude back (I do remember that three hook bra - it looked
like my mom’s…..EECK!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After freezing
Shirley they sedate Bob and amputate his arm to sew onto Hauron’s body then
transport both of them back to their planet! Of course there is nothing that explicit
as this was American television in the early 60s, but I forgot all this shit!</div>
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<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-apeFj6UhL4c/V4c0asKk7xI/AAAAAAAAACY/kveEyWL67QESar8DuMZBRuApKViUwmW9ACK4B/s1600/images-7.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-apeFj6UhL4c/V4c0asKk7xI/AAAAAAAAACY/kveEyWL67QESar8DuMZBRuApKViUwmW9ACK4B/s400/images-7.jpeg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ixnay on the Onerbay</div>
</div>
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<br /></div>
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Oh, and the final shot is worthy of an Edward D. Wood Jr.
honorable mention. Priceless. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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One final note, Brian F. Wood plays a funny local hick with
a shotgun. Sadly this was his only film credit as well. A must see on a double
bill with Robot Monster. Three All American Erkinme. Check it out. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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mccurdyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07068941913644481716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2299899702386849796.post-80242530702985477952016-07-10T13:54:00.002-07:002018-08-30T15:23:27.906-07:00<div class="MsoNormal">
Devil Girl From Mars (1954) – Available on YouTube<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Director: David MacDonald<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8nrG2pa8GSM/V4nQ_h89koI/AAAAAAAAADc/idk1kQ-Tzk8FOPtQ3tlrX4aGBetu0zv-QCK4B/s1600/Unknown-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8nrG2pa8GSM/V4nQ_h89koI/AAAAAAAAADc/idk1kQ-Tzk8FOPtQ3tlrX4aGBetu0zv-QCK4B/s400/Unknown-1.jpeg" /></a>Writers: John Mather, James Eastwood<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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This three reeler with 10 actors a matchbox budget and
ironic title is a fun watch. The film was produced by the American born Danzinger
brothers, Edward and Harry, who worked at a sound studio in New York after
the war and then moved to Britain in 1952 and began making television shows and
short independent features in whatever studio they could rent (Harry was a
prosecuting attorney in the Nuremberg trials! Guess he had his fill of that.) Shorts
were wrapped in a matter of days and this movie took three weeks. Retakes were
forbidden unless the film was damaged but considering the sparse budget it has a peculiar charm and comes off pretty well. The centerpiece is the Devil Girl, Nyah, played with
overbearing camp by Patricia Laffan (Quo Vadis) replete in black patent leather
boots, mini-dress, black tights, a floor length cape, Vulcan eyebrows, an
Olympic ski slope of a nose and a widow
peeked skull cap.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Z7fEI7demz4/V4nRYyds3mI/AAAAAAAAADk/V6NsG-3SVPQ4MBcFhNhagAfnQ0j37DnXACK4B/s1600/4756027365_48bdc1c1ed_b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Z7fEI7demz4/V4nRYyds3mI/AAAAAAAAADk/V6NsG-3SVPQ4MBcFhNhagAfnQ0j37DnXACK4B/s320/4756027365_48bdc1c1ed_b.jpg" width="248" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Nyah is my Name Sperm is my Game</i></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
There is a brief romantic subplot involving Hugh McDermott<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(The Seventh Veil, First Men in The Moon) a
garrulous journalist (“Newspapers are published every day, you gotta fill ‘um
with something!”) who always needs a drink (I’d like a very large whiskey and a
very small soda”), and B movie maven Hazel Court (The Raven, Mask of the Red Death,
The Curse of Frankenstein), a London fashion model on the rebound. They try to get things going but they can’t! Why? Because
there’s a Devil Girl! And she is from Mars! Why Mars you may ask? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And why is she called a girl? Shouldn’t a hot,
leather clad, imperious alien female be a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">woman
</i>from <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Venus?</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In 1953 Abbott and Costello were headed for
Mars but ended up on Venus with a bevy of beauties including Anita Ekberg the
men having been banished (to where I forget I was just staring at Anita.) Here we are a year later and Nyah tells us of Mars' long and brutal war between
the sexes in which the women prevailed. Despite Mars' superior
technology, they are faced with a declining birth rate so Nyah is sent to harvest
the best male specimens for, uh, “new blood”. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Story: Nyah’s space ship – headed for London - has lost
a cowling or something and is forced to land near a country inn in the Scottish
Highlands. At the inn we have Michael Carter and Ellen Prestwick, the would be
lovers, Astrophysicist Professor Arnold Hennessey (Joseph Tomelty), bar maid
Doris (Adrienne Corri, who was the gang rape victim in A Clockwork Orange), Robert
Justin alias Albert Simpson (Peter Reynolds) a – falsely? - convicted murderer and
Doris’s lover, the proprietors Mr. and Mrs. Jamieson (John Laurie and Sophie
Stewart), their young nephew Tommy (Anthony Richmond) who is visiting from
London, and a crippled laborer David (James Edmond.) <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Michael and Professor Arnold have arrived to
investigate a reported meteor crash and, finding themselves lost in the
Scottish Highlands in the depths of winter, pull into the inn for directions
and a much needed drink. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Michael, Arnold
and Ellen sit down with the proprietors for some hearty scotch broth at which
time Albert, who is working at the inn under false pretense, emerges from the
kitchen and Michael – being a journalist and, apparently, the only one who
reads the papers - fingers him as an escaped convict. But then, just as the
confrontation begins, our rudderless space ship whooshes overhead with a rumble
and a flash of bright light.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The dinner
guests rush outside – except for Albert who takes the opportunity to scram –
and witness the landing. Michael grabs the phone and yells “hello, hello, hello,
hello…it’s like something from another planet…here I am with a flying saucer in
my lap…hello, hello” but the phone doesn’t work (so stop yelling!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Michael and the professor are hell bent on
getting to the nearest phone seven miles away. Ellen begs Michael to stay to
which he replies “You’ll be alright we won’t be long” (yeah…just snuggle up to
the convicted murderer and cripple and ignore that silly thing in the front
yard!) <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ellen confronts Albert who explains the murder thing was all an
accident and she’s cool with it. Doris then
hides Albert in the attic and finally we cut to the spaceship. With timpani
booming and horns blaring the front door slides open and out walks the
imperious leather clad Nyah. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>David the
cripple briskly limps outside to see what’s happening comes face to face with
the Nyah tries to turn and run bumps into a force field and falls
down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Nyah rewards</span> his clumsiness by vaporizing him with a ray gun. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Guess no
handicapped men are getting a free ride to Mars this week. Michael and the
professor can't get the car to start and return to the inn to find Doris in a trance. Michael starts whispering and when he takes his eyes off Doris <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">there she is the devil girl</i> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">filling
the doorway</i>! After a pleasant enough exchange (“Who are you?” Where are you
from?”) she informs the professor “You men on earth are much as we had
expected.” She asks the professor if he is a scientist (guess he looks like one
to any normal Martian.) He says yes and she says “You are a very poor
physical specimen.” Nyah advises she speaks all earth languages as she has been
listening to the radio. Nyah frees Doris from her trance. Ellen walks in to see
what’s going on. Nyah explains her origin:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Professor: Are you alone in the ship?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nyah:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Johnny is with
me. <o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Michael: Johnny?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nyah: Johnny is a mechanical man. A robot with many of the characteristics
of a human but improved by an electronic brain. The metal from which the
spaceship is constructed can reproduce itself. (The Monolith Monsters didn’t do
it until 1957.) <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Professor: The metal reproduces itself? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do you realize what your saying? They’ve turned
the inorganic into the organic! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Michael: Just why are you going to London?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nyah: Many of your earth years ago, our women were similar
to yours today. Our emancipation took several hundred years. And ended in a
bitter devastating war between the sexes…the last war we ever had. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Professor: So you’ve had wars too? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nyah: All inhabited planets have had wars. Some have ended
by wiping themselves out.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Michael: How?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nyah: For every new weapon invented a defense was perfected
until the ultimate weapon was developed: A perpetual motion chain reactor beam.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Professor: Incredible! What form did it take?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Nyah: As fast as metal was created, it was changed by its
molecular structure into the next dimension and so destroyed itself. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Professor: So there is a fourth dimension (not as pithy as
the Solarinite in Plan 9 but there it is.)<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Nyah: After the war of the sexes women became the rulers of
Mars. But now the male has fallen into a decline. The birth rate is dropping
tremendously. For despite our advanced science we have still found no way of
creating life! (She says as she violates Ellen’s personal space.) <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Ellen Frightened: So you’ve come here for new blood?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nyah confidently:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
a way. And also to test a newly invented organic metal of which my ship is
built (the stuff that doesn’t destroy itself I guess.) On Mars some think I
will not return that the metal is too unstable. But when I get back they will build more spaceships. Meanwhile I will
select some of your strongest men to return with me to Mars (not just to build
spaceships I'm guessing.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Michael Fuming: And if they don’t want to go with you?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nyah Defiant: There is no if!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Michael: Your philosophy may not be appreciated. How do you
suppose to subdue London or anywhere else for that matter once you take your
pick of the men? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nyah: A simple matter. The nuclear ship contains a paralyzer
ray mechanism (damn!) capable of freezing all life over a wide area.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Doris: Like you froze me just now.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Nyah: Yes.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know it’s not that great but it verges on B Movie
mesmerizing. And repopulating Mars?<br />
Aren’t all red-blooded males up to the
task? As Strangelove said “There would be much time and little
to do.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After this exposition there’s a panic from the
innkeepers husband Mr. Jamison as they can’t find David the unworthy cripple.
Nyah cops to having eliminated poor David as nonessential. Michael takes and
swing at Nyah to which she whips out her ray gun and warns the angry guests not
to follow her back to the ship as the house is surrounded by a force field. Her
departure means the movie is less interesting. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Despite protestations the professor insists he must follow
her which gives us time for Michael and Ellen’s scene. Up in her room Michael “lets
his hair down” and explains his acquired taste for alcohol as a product of all
the wars he’s witnessed. Ellen’s hair stays up but she admits to being unhappy with life. The scene should have
ended with a kiss being interrupted by the unceremonious return of the
professor. With all this talk about new blood and repopulation
why no kissing? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Downstairs the professor does stumble into the inn with a bloody forehead
(damn those invisible shields.) Mr. Jamison produces an old revolver. Michael
takes it. Then, Nyah swings open the French doors and, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">there she is the devil girl filling the doorway again</i>.<br />
<br />
<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AIF8-wdIucg/V4nTFAu08fI/AAAAAAAAAD0/Ip9hxGRp01Uy0dmvStH00Dz2ACrOBuv4ACK4B/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AIF8-wdIucg/V4nTFAu08fI/AAAAAAAAAD0/Ip9hxGRp01Uy0dmvStH00Dz2ACrOBuv4ACK4B/s400/Unknown.jpeg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Damn You Nyah!</i></span></div>
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<br /></div>
“You are all
very quiet no doubt resigned to the inevitable. That is wise. ” Michael tells
her to put um up. Nyah pays no heed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He fires the revolver to no effect and Nyah simply grabs it and tosses it to the
floor. “You poor demented humans to think you could destroy me with old an fashioned toy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can control power
beyond your wildest dreams. Come! Come and you shall see!” Nyah is very proud
of her culture and all it has accomplished so, with a sweep of her hand, it’s
off to the ship. “Now earthmen look, watch the power of another world” as she
points a rather unwieldy looking control at the spaceship to summon Johnny. Well
Johnny is no Gort. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is rather boxy
looking, much like the Jetson’s maid, with arms a bit too thin. Nevertheless
this contraption - built for the film - was fully automated and with some
clever perspective work appears to be eight feet tall. He proceeds to "Gort" a
tree and then Gorts an old truck. The puny earthlings<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>- feeling punier every earth minute -
skidaddle. The professor lingers a bit, and……will he be incinerated….no. <o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5KzlU6dVfUY/V4nUZoxZFLI/AAAAAAAAAEA/1RvClxsjOtMqGeHAeaRqbq9DjwDqNnI7ACK4B/s1600/images-11.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5KzlU6dVfUY/V4nUZoxZFLI/AAAAAAAAAEA/1RvClxsjOtMqGeHAeaRqbq9DjwDqNnI7ACK4B/s400/images-11.jpeg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Nice Composition</i></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<br />
Meanwhile Albert, whose been hiding in the attic, and the
boy Tommy in his upstairs room have been watching from afar and stroll up to
the ship full of questions. Nyah is having none of it and puts Albert into a
trance and sends him back to the attic. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The little boy is now hers! Think of all that
sperm! </i>She’s actually very nice to Tommy as she gently takes his hand and
promises “Come, I will show you wonders that you’ve never seen before.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cut to the inn and the earthlings are venting their anger.
The professor wants to get inside the ship but, no surprise Nyah swings open
the doors and, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">there she is the devil
girl filling the doorway again</i> “No doubt you are having a counsel of war.
It amuses me to see your puny efforts.” She is so fucking condescending. The
professor plays to her vanity<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>- not a
bad idea at this point - and tricks Nyah into inviting him onto the ship. Once
aboard there’s a lot of jibber jabber about metal and heat and nuclear fission
on a static negative condensity <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>in a
perpetual motion loop <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“enough power to
obliterate this spec of matter you call earth.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Damn you Nyah!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Back at the inn Michael has rigged an exposed electric wire
across the doorway. Nyah throws open the doors and, you guessed it, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">there she is the devil girl filling the
doorway again!</i> Nothing happens but she warns them if they don’t stop their
shenanigans she will kill the boy! Arrrrg says Michael. Then Nyah goes all
blurry to the fourth dimension just to fuck with them. Ellen really can’t stand
it anymore. Mr Jamison never thought he’d see the day. Mrs. Jamison seeks
counsel in the lord. “We’ve done enough talking” says Michael as he walks
through the valley of death to the ship. Nyah comes to greet. They discuss the
kid. Nyah points out the obvious “He is a young creature his mind is free of
your stupid emotions and fears.” Michael offers himself in exchange. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Cut back to the inn and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Tommy</i>
walks through the door this time. Good job Michael! Tommy had a nice time in
the ship and can’t wait to tell the kids at school. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Cut to Albert who is back in the attic still in a trance.
Doris says somebody better check on him he’s talking all funny. Michael steps
up again. He and Albert have a fight. Albert is knocked out. Michael ties him
to a chair. The professor has a plan “Perhaps one determined blow delivered [to
the ships power source] might release this power in the form of a terrific
explosion. “ It’s elegant if nothing else. Of course Michael wants this suicide
mission. But then, you know <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">the devil
girl fills the…</i>oh fuck it. Michael has made his pack and returns to the
ship with Nyah but not before Ellen confesses she is in love with him. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Back at the ship Michael grabs the robot control device but that
doesn’t work and so Nyah escorts him – all hang dog – back to the inn. She
informs the professor, Michael, Ellen, the Jamison’s, Doris and the unconscious
Albert, that she will have the ship repaired soon and will kill everyone upon
departure. The professor suggests she will need a guide in London. Really?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She decides it’s a good idea and will be back
in a bit to choose one of them. They have been unreliable demented, puny and
stupid so she needs to ruminate on her choice.<o:p></o:p></div>
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During the Martian rumination the professor writes stuff down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Michael asks if Ellen meant what she said
downstairs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They kiss!!! Yessssss!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Albert wakes up. He’s a little out of it but listens to the
others bitch about who is going to go – as if it were up to them! They draw
cards. Michael wins. Fuck! The professor tells him what to do. Well not really
he just tells him to go to the center of the ship where the power crucible is
and the rest is up to him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Next everyone
but Albert and Doris head for the basement to take cover. Michael helps out and
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he <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">was</i> guilty. Doris tells him to go
hide and heads for the basement. Que Nyah in the doorway. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nyah looks Albert over and the two have an
understanding. He is going of his own free will. Michael comes back to attend
to Albert but its too late. He took your place. Fuck you Michael!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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The ship takes off and blows up.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Albert is dead. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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The phone rings and everyone has a drink. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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The End.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Don’t worry in 1967 Mars Needs Women. <o:p></o:p></div>
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mccurdyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07068941913644481716noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2299899702386849796.post-73632615901451094792016-07-10T00:33:00.004-07:002016-09-05T23:21:14.061-07:00<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-gjNsJp8KcgQ/V4caINdIZmI/AAAAAAAAABk/6UldD2ylTr05VudK52LE2aUfTiCWB5aZgCK4B/s1600/images-4.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-gjNsJp8KcgQ/V4caINdIZmI/AAAAAAAAABk/6UldD2ylTr05VudK52LE2aUfTiCWB5aZgCK4B/s400/images-4.jpeg" /></a>Voyage of the Rock Aliens <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1984<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Director: James Fargo<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Writer: Edward Gold<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Executive Producer: Tino Barzie<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Aliens cruising through the galaxy in a giant guitar shaped spaceship
have intercepted rock music tunes – what else! - and want more! Pia Zadora, fresh
off a Golden Globe for her performance in Butterfly, gives an enthusiastic Pia
Zadorable performance along with the rest of the cast in this goof ball camp-fest
co-starring Ruth Gordon(who died a year later at the age of 88), Craig Sheffer (Nightbreed), Berry Johnson (10 years from his turn in One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest) and chocolate
dream boat Germaine Jackson who introduces the film with an interracial alien
love song to little Pia set in a post apocalyptic Mad Max landscape. Just let
her perky sexuality bubble through your veins like a white wine spritzer. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This film was never released in the states –
WTF - so I got it on Amazon UK. Three perky Merkins!<o:p></o:p></div>
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mccurdyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07068941913644481716noreply@blogger.com0